Girl: Can I ask you a question?
EDDI: Shoot
Girl: Who was dat?
EDDI: (He had been on the phone earlier so he said) My brother
Girl: In your car I mean
EDDI: (He looks outside at his car in the office parking lot) Sorry the car has been parked for the past 2 hours. There’s no one in…
Girl: (Rudely cuts him off) I mean THIS MORNING…wearing the blue, patterned dress
EDDI: (Now confused, and thinking regular girl has gone potty) Wearing blue dress? My car wearing a dress?
Girl: (Now Angry) Stop the pretense ok? Who was that girl in your car this morning wearing a blue, patterned dress?
EDDI: (All coming together now) Oh, so you meant to ask “Who was that girl in your car this morning wearing a blue, patterned dress?” Why didn’t you just say so in the first place?
Girl: (Now ready to slap the idiot) Answer the damn question!!!
EDDI: (Confused again) Which of the questions please? You’ve asked 4 already.
Girl: (BP high…remained silent…..10 seconds passed…ugly noises from her throat)
EDDI: (Having bought time and composed his thoughts) Oh. Lol…That was one of my mum’s mannequins…was taking it to her shop…she left her, I mean it, at home
Girl: (Incredulous) I don’t believe you. You’re lying.
EDDI: (Feigning hurt feelings) Baby pleeeeeease! How can you even say that?
Girl: (Backtracking slightly) Are you sure? I thought I saw…
EDDI: (Cuts her off expertly) Eiiiii this my girl…hahahaha…you’re jealous papa
Girl: (Now a little ‘sober’) So you’re not cheating on me?
EDDI: (Now on the roll) I’ll NEVER cheat on you Baby. I love you only. Forever
Girl: (Convinced & chaste) Sorry Baby…you know I love you too. Please don’t break my heart ok? Please…I’ll die if you do.
EDDI: I swear to you I’ll never ever break your heart. Ok…boss calling…TTYL
Girl: Ok Boo…later
EDDI quickly WhatsApps new girl[ADA]: Hey Baby…listen, tomorrow I have to take a mannequin to my mum’s shop…can we reschedule for day after?
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